Hello friends. If I've left some of you in suspense this past week, I'm sorry! You remember that we got our exciting BFP call from Karen. The follow up blood work was great. My HCG levels were rising quickly. We scheduled our first ultrasound for December 10th at 2:30. Donny and I couldn't wait to see our baby for the first time! Unfortunately, I picked up a cold from one of my little darlings at school that kept me in bed the weekend before the appointment and forced my to take a sick day on Tuesday. I went to my general practitioner and founded out my cold had turned into a secondary infection. Ick! Morning sickness and nausea also struck. It's no fun to lose your breakfast in the driveway as you are trying to leave for work.
When Wednesday finally arrived, I was excited, but still feeling sick. I got through my half-day at school and went to Donny's office. The plan was to grab lunch together, hang out, then head to our appointment. I really wanted to enjoy the afternoon, but it was a struggle to get the broccoli cheddar soup down and sit up as we ate at Panera. We decided to go walk around Babies-R-Us (finally a happy visit to that store). As we cruised up and down the aisles packed with the mysterious accoutrements of parenthood I couldn't help feeling a little better. The stroller and car seat section was a source of lots of conversation. Donny patted the handle of a double stroller with a joking grin and said, " We'll needed two of these. One for you and one for me!" I laughed and kept walking. Oh, if I'd only known...
We arrived a little early for our ultrasound and Karen took us right back. I think she was just as excited as we were. As she inserted the probe, I watched the screen eagerly, expecting to see one or two dark spots. Ask she moved the probe around, I couldn't believe what I was seeing. There were several dark spots. "Well, this isn't exactly what I hoped to see," Karen began, "Can you tell how many we are looking at?"
I stared at the clear four-leaf clover on the screen, "four?"
"Yes, we are looking at four. That's more than I wanted to see. Let's get some measurements." She continued to reposition the probe, freeze images, and place little asterisks on the top, bottom, and sides of each little one. She paused over each tiny baby to point out a flickering dot, the heartbeat. All four babies had heartbeats and measured almost the same size - the correct size for 6 weeks and two days.
After the ultrasound I was given my first snapshot of my growing family and ushered into another exam room to talk with Dr. Steinkampf. Donny and I were grinning at each other as we waited and I couldn't stop giggling! It was a giddy high. When Dr. Steinkampf came in, he congratulated us with a cautious smile. He sat down and began to explain some of the concerns with multiples. Each extra baby subtracts an average of four weeks from the normal gestation. With quads - 3 extra babies - 12 weeks early is terrifying. Half of quadruplet pregnancy end in all four babies succumbing to prematurity.
Then he presented our "options":
1. Terminate the pregnancy and try again (NOT an option).
2. Attempt to carry a quad pregnancy (sounds about right, but "attempt" is a scary word).
3. Near the end of the first trimester, selectively reduce the pregnancy to twins (NOT AN OPTION).
He also said that sometimes one or more of the babies stop developing and re-absorb. He said we couldn't make any decisions now. We would return in a few weeks for another ultrasound and would then develop a plan if attack. I told him that Donny and I believed strongly in the sanctity of life and we would no reduce our pregnancy. Obviously we are not the first couple to tell him that. He didn't berate us, but he did say that you could make the case that reducing the pregnancy respects life by giving two babies a better chance at survival. This argument doesn't change our mind. God allowed four of six follicles to become babies. I will do everything in my power to carry all four of them as close to full term as possible.
I must admit, the prospect is very daunting. I am scared for my babies. I'm really not sure how we'll handle the day-to-day realities of caring for four, most likely premature, infants. Right now, I'm praying that all of the babies that are born will be healthy. I'm eating like a horse and sleeping every chance I get. I stay exhausted and get queasy and shakes, but thank goodness for nausea meds! Donny has been waiting on me hand-and-foot. He is my cheerleader and my hero. I have no idea what the future holds. We'll have more answers after of ultrasound on January 5th. Will we see 4 still? 3? 2? For now, I'll drink another glass of water, get a snack, and lie down! Mama is worn out!
