Hello wonderful friends! The past couple of days have been very exciting, all because of a little smiley face. When we had our first appointment with Dr. Steinkampf he gave us a sheet detailing the procedure for intrauterine insemination with donor sperm. We have been carefully following the directions. Start my period and purchase sperm. Check. Arrange for shipment of sperm to Alabama Fertility Specialists. Check. On day 10 of my cycle call the office to let them know I am planning to do an IUI this month. Check. Also on day 10 start doing ovulation tests between 11:00 and 2:00 daily. Monday was my day 10.
Testing timing proved to be a bit of a challenge. My class has lunch from 11:35-12:00 so I knew that was my only possible time window. Thankfully my sweet friend Tonya Adams agreed to meet my class in the hall and walk them to the lunchroom so that I could pop into the bathroom and test. The clinic recommended the digital Clear Blue test. When no LH surge is detected you get a empty circle. When the surge is present you get a smiley face. The tests I did in March had been positive on the 22nd so I was expecting to test for several days and see a blank circle.
Monday - circle
Tuesday - circle
Wednesday - SMILEY FACE!
I was blown away! Shocked and excited I almost jogged back to my classroom to call the doctor's office. The instructions said on the day the LH surge was detected to call before 2:00 to schedule the IUI for the following day. Wow! I couldn't believe it and I have to admit, I was worried it might be a false positive. I have not been feeling great this week because I'd managed to pick up a cold and had been dealing with some "feminine itch". I was really worried that those two issues could mess up the procedure. Isn't it amazing how, in the middle of something wonderful, we can let doubts plague and worry us? When I called the front desk, it took a couple of tries to get through. When I reached the receptionist and told her I had gotten a positive ovulation test she said, "Yay! Ok, you will need to come in tomorrow!" Wow! It all became so very real!
It was fun to be able to join my teacher friends in the lunchroom and announce, "I got a smiley face!" Then I wrote Donny a quick text to give him the good news. I was thankfully able to contact a sub and stayed late at school putting together sub plans - never a small undertaking! The procedure doesn't' take all that long, but with my cold I knew I could use a day to rest anyway.
Today was THE day. In the car on the way to the office Donny asked me if I wanted to pray. He grabbed my hand, I closed my eyes and prayed for God's will and guidance. I prayed that God would bless our procedure the first time if it was his timing and thanked him for all the people that were lifting us up (THAT'S ALL OF YOU, FRIENDS!). We had a 10:00 appointment so we got there at 9:40ish. It began with a visit to lab to draw more blood and confirm that I was ovulating. That of course meant another visit with Mr. Sperm the stress ball. It lasted a little longer than I would have liked. They couldn't get the vein in my left arm, so they went to the right one and got it. Ow. On our way back to the waiting room, we ran into Karen, the nurse practitioner we spoke with on our first visit. She greeted us with, "it's my favorite couple!" and huge smile. She wrapped me up in a warm hug. Then she asked my permission to hug Donny too. She really set any butterflies in my tummy to rest.
We sat in the waiting room for a bit, holding hands and talking. A nurse poked her head through the door and called us back to a room. She gave me instructions and informed us that Karen would be in in a few minutes to do the insemination. That was exciting news! I purposefully go to female OBGYN doctors. It just makes an awkward situation a bit less awkward. I feel very comfortable with Karen so that made me feel better about the procedure. It is amazing how long a few minutes feel when you are sitting on a table with stirrups adorned with a stylish paper drape. Donny tried to help me stay relaxed, he grabbed my hand and prayed for God's blessing on the procedure.
After a bit Karen rapped lightly on the door and entered the room chirping, "let's make a baby!" She had me confirm that the vial of sperm was the correct one. It was pretty crazy to think that the pinkie-fingertip-sized drop of milky liquid was the sperm that could make me a mommy and Donny a daddy. Karen drew the droplet of sperm up into a syringe equipped with a catheter and had me scooch into place. She expertly did her work threading the catheter into place, then she motioned to Donny, "Come do this insemination." It brought tears to my eyes! To allow Donny to truly be part of his child's conception was so kind and thoughtful. I will always be grateful to Karen for that! She put the syringe in Donny's hand and said,"Ok, send in the clowns!"
That was all there was to it. I lay back on the table and she gave us our next instructions. In a week I have to do a blood progesterone serum test. In two weeks we will go back to see Dr. Steinkampf. In two weeks we will learn if we are pregnant! Now all we have to do is wait. I am so very glad that I have school to keep me busy during the week and prevent me from obsessing. There is about a 20% chance that we will be pregnant. Please keep praying that God's will is done in our family! I will keep all of you up to date!
Thursday, April 17, 2014
Monday, April 7, 2014
Shopping for......what?
Hello friends! I am elated - and it is for that strangest reason. Can you guess why? I did some intense shopping this weekend. Hours of combing web pages and researching. What for you ask? Sperm! Yes, you heard me correctly. Reproductive tissue, as the various banks call it. This weekend was a roller coaster of strange emotions.
When we went to our first appointment with Dr. Steinkampf he gave us a list of four sperm banks that they recommend and have patients use frequently. I had no idea how complex a task choosing a donor would be. The sites work like this: you sign up then start running searches. You pick hair color, eye color, build, race, even religion. You read donor essays, go over family medical histories with a fine-toothed comb, and try to get a sense of the kind of person behind the "reproductive tissue". I ended up combing through all four sites, reading over 100 profiles, rereading them, and reading them again.
I believe I started looking on one site at 9:00 am. I had narrowed 99 potential donors down to seven at 2:00 pm. My brain was fried and my eyes were having trouble focusing by that point. I was also feeling emotionally frazzled. Donny knew I needed a break so we went to see a movie, "Captain America". Anyone who knows my Donny knows when a superhero movie is released the Motts will be going. It was excellent and a very good distraction.
When we got home, the search continued until I had narrowed all four banks down to the final few. Donny sat down on the couch, I pulled up the recliner, and we went through the profiles on-by-one. Finally, we made the choice, at 11:00 pm. At that point we were both emotionally and physically exhausted.
We overslept Sunday morning. I was still strangely stressed and down. But, God was not surprised. Four weeks ago I began a bible study on the book of Esther with some ladies at church. Last Sunday's session was about facing our fears. Beth Moore challenged us, through the television screen, to face our "what ifs", our deep fears. She pushed us to answer if________then______ statements.
Mine would go something like this:
If I don't get pregnant....if I never get pregnant, then I'll be devastated.
Ok, then what?
Well, I'll curl up in a ball and cry.
Then what?
I'll shutdown.
Alright, then what?
Um, I'll get angry.
Yes, and then?
When we continue to follow our fears, continue to ask "and then what?", if we are believers, we eventually come to the same conclusion, if anything, then GOD. Eventually we see God is God no matter what fear we face, no matter what situation we find ourselves in. Esther was in royal position in the exact time her people needed a voice to speak on their behalf. The cost of her choice could easily have cost her life, but she realized if she spoke God would receive glory. If she perished, she perished, but God would work. My fear seems so tiny in comparison, but I needed the message. If I continue to prayerfully proceed and walk this path, no matter what else happens, I am going to give God glory.
So, this evening we did it! We ordered the sperm. It will be in my doctor's office this week. And, to God be the glory, I am excited. I am elated. No matter what happens, if ANYTHING then GOD!
When we went to our first appointment with Dr. Steinkampf he gave us a list of four sperm banks that they recommend and have patients use frequently. I had no idea how complex a task choosing a donor would be. The sites work like this: you sign up then start running searches. You pick hair color, eye color, build, race, even religion. You read donor essays, go over family medical histories with a fine-toothed comb, and try to get a sense of the kind of person behind the "reproductive tissue". I ended up combing through all four sites, reading over 100 profiles, rereading them, and reading them again.
I believe I started looking on one site at 9:00 am. I had narrowed 99 potential donors down to seven at 2:00 pm. My brain was fried and my eyes were having trouble focusing by that point. I was also feeling emotionally frazzled. Donny knew I needed a break so we went to see a movie, "Captain America". Anyone who knows my Donny knows when a superhero movie is released the Motts will be going. It was excellent and a very good distraction.
When we got home, the search continued until I had narrowed all four banks down to the final few. Donny sat down on the couch, I pulled up the recliner, and we went through the profiles on-by-one. Finally, we made the choice, at 11:00 pm. At that point we were both emotionally and physically exhausted.
We overslept Sunday morning. I was still strangely stressed and down. But, God was not surprised. Four weeks ago I began a bible study on the book of Esther with some ladies at church. Last Sunday's session was about facing our fears. Beth Moore challenged us, through the television screen, to face our "what ifs", our deep fears. She pushed us to answer if________then______ statements.
Mine would go something like this:
If I don't get pregnant....if I never get pregnant, then I'll be devastated.
Ok, then what?
Well, I'll curl up in a ball and cry.
Then what?
I'll shutdown.
Alright, then what?
Um, I'll get angry.
Yes, and then?
When we continue to follow our fears, continue to ask "and then what?", if we are believers, we eventually come to the same conclusion, if anything, then GOD. Eventually we see God is God no matter what fear we face, no matter what situation we find ourselves in. Esther was in royal position in the exact time her people needed a voice to speak on their behalf. The cost of her choice could easily have cost her life, but she realized if she spoke God would receive glory. If she perished, she perished, but God would work. My fear seems so tiny in comparison, but I needed the message. If I continue to prayerfully proceed and walk this path, no matter what else happens, I am going to give God glory.
So, this evening we did it! We ordered the sperm. It will be in my doctor's office this week. And, to God be the glory, I am excited. I am elated. No matter what happens, if ANYTHING then GOD!
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