Everyone knows that scene in Indiana Jones. The daring hero who faces soldiers without fear stares in horror at a snake. Needles are my snakes. I've gotten better about having blood drawn thanks to our RE visits. They want blood almost every time I step through the door. I used to shake when a nurse came up with a syringe, now I just look the other way, take deep breaths and count - one, one thousand, two, one thousand, three, one thousand. This cycle was a new challenge. Since Clomid turned out to be a failure for me, we moved to ultrasound monitoring and injections.
On day two of my cycle I went in for a baseline ultrasound to check my ovaries and ensure there were no cysts. These ultrasounds are not the gel-on-the-belly knees you see on movies. Instead it is internal. Pretty uncomfortable on cycle day two! When that probe is pushing into you achy ovary you want to kick the operator. It's like when you've got a nasty bruise and someone keeps poking it. Even though it felt like something had to be wrong with my poor sore ovaries, Karen said I was good to start the new regimen.
Donny and I drove to Southern Pharmaceuticals in Irondale to pick up the injections and supplies. Then it started to become real. I was carrying a bag with alcohol prep swabs, a follistim injection pen, needles, follistim cartridge, pregnly, and a sharps disposal container. Sunday evening I put together the pen, dialed up up the correct dose, swabbed my stomach to the right of my belly button, and grasped the pen. I was determined to administer the shot myself, but as I stared at the needles my resolve wavered. I changed my grip, steeling myself. And I couldn't do it! I walked into the living room, handed the pen to Donny, and had him give the injection. Then, because I'd worked myself up, I burst into tears.
I didn't try again. Donny gave me the shot every night: Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. Then Friday morning I went in for a follow-up ultrasound. Karen said I'd responded beautifully to the injections. I watched as she measured the follicles on the ultrasound screen, placing little plus-shaped cursors at the top, bottom, and sides of the follicles. She said they want the follicles to measure 1.6 centimeters and mine ranged from 1.2 - 1.4 cm. Karen said one more follistim injection should put them at exactly the right size. She didn't tell me how many follicles she saw, but I counted six as she measured. She instructed that we do a follistim shot Friday night, the trigger shot of Pregnyl on Saturday night. Our sixth IUI was scheduled for Monday. Only two more shots! The end was in sight! The trigger shot was the worst of the set. There was so much more medicine in that dose, Donny had to go more slowly. I ended up with a big bruise from that one, nasty red and purple.
This morning we went in for the IUI. Those have become old hat by now. I know exactly what to expect. This time, I was surprised by the discomfort level. I guess things in there are more inflamed then I realized. Things that are normally mildly uncomfortable hurt. The speculum made me have to controlled breathe and mentally coach myself through. I have to admit I teared up once Karen was out of the room. Donny grabbed my hand and prayed as I lay there on the table. He is my coach, my nurse, my cheerleader, my leader, and my love. I can't imagine doing this without him.
I want to be positive about this cycle, but I'm having trouble. Five previous negatives make it hard to get excited. Donny is the one who is staying positive for both of us. It does help that I was able to actually see the follicles. The last cycles we had blood work and ovulation test kit results that said I was ovulating, now I know I am. Now we pray and wait.
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